


Touchy Feely

by foive (arcticnewt)



Series: Wicked Games [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Also btw Five is the same age as the others, Canon Typical Violence, F/M, Jealous!Five, M/M, Season 2 spoilers, Sexual content to come in later chapters, Slow burn for Klaus and Ben tho good luck, Sparrow!Ben, Sparrow!Vanya, The other siblings will show up eventually, This is a bit lighter than the other fics in this series, This series went a lot further than I initially planned, at some point, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:20:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26070106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcticnewt/pseuds/foive
Summary: Ben is most bothered by two things- not knowing everything, and people having loud sex within earshot. Unfortunately for him, the Umbrella Academy's arrival subjects him to both of these things. At the same time (well, not exactly). He doesn't have the excuse of paradox psychosis, but if this keeps happening, he's definitely going to go into a homicidal rage.He's not alone in these sentiments though.He figures that manipulation is the way to go (and if it means helping a few emotionally constipated people out, then what's the harm really?)
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: Wicked Games [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880899
Comments: 65
Kudos: 120





	1. Understanding

**Author's Note:**

> Posting this in celebration of being a social creature in this fandom- Fiveya's hooked me so bad that I'm back on tumblr (hit me up for any prompts or to chat, or whatever really, I'm sparrowfive on there) and I've been chatting with everyone on the Discord recently and you all are the sweetest! Makes me want to write even more, so I hope this fic is enjoyable! 
> 
> Special shoutout to fiveyaaas, who (aside from inspiring the first work in this series) has graciously agreed to beta for me. 
> 
> This ties in with all the other works in the Wicked Games series, so I'd recommend to read those first before going into this one. 
> 
> Inspired by Ro James' song Touchy Feely.

“Why is he looking at me like that?”

Vanya turns to look at Ben- his face is set in the annoyed expression that seems to be typical of him in this timeline. His brows are set into a hard expression, lip curled slightly downwards, eyes fixed on Klaus, whose eyes were locked on Ben with the most serious look Vanya’s had the opportunity to witness on him in years.

“What do you mean, sober?” Vanya quips, tilting her head slightly at him, the pinnacle of innocence. 

Though this was actually the first time Vanya was interacting with this world’s version of her brother (and it honestly stung a little bit, after he’d  _ gone _ back in the 1960s), she knew exactly what look Ben was referring to though. It also didn’t take a genius to figure it out- just someone from the Umbrella Academy. Ben was Klaus’ best friend in the Umbrella Academy, almost closer than Vanya and Five. 

Not that Vanya and Five were close anymore. 

Five seemed to have a new Vanya. Quite literally. He didn’t even look at her anymore, she realized with a scowl.

“Why are you upset that he’s sober?” For the first time since the Umbrella Academy arrived, Ben’s voice is something other than annoyed. Vanya can’t place the feelings behind his tone, but Ben almost sounds concerned. 

“It’s just a bit weird, that’s all,” Vanya carefully composes her features into a neutral expression. She isn’t quite sure how to react to this Ben yet. “Klaus doesn’t have the greatest track record.” 

Now that Klaus’ sobriety has been brought up, Vanya realizes that Klaus has been well-behaved since their arrival. Entirely sober, she thinks with a tinge of guilt as it suddenly clicks why.

Ben is gone. Ghost-Ben, their Ben,  _ Klaus’  _ Ben. The only ghost Klaus has ever wanted to see. 

Vanya wonders if he’s staying sober because he  _ wants  _ to see the dead for what is probably the first time in his life. 

“What? He’s doing great,” Vanya says distractedly (and a bit awkwardly), shrugging. “I’m proud of him.”

“Your face doesn’t seem to agree, buttercup.” Ben’s  _ looking  _ at her now, scrutinizing her face like Vanya’s a puzzle he can’t seem to piece together. “You’ve gone through maybe ten expressions- but none of them seemed even slightly surprised.”

“There’s really nothing up with him,” the words escape Vanya’s lips slowly. She’s really not sure how to handle this situation. Whatever she thought was going on between Klaus and Ben (their Ben) had been one of the many unspoken things of the Umbrella Academy’s childhood, similar to what was going on with Allison and Luther  or Vanya herself and Five . “He’s Klaus, he’s kooky like that.”

“He doesn’t look at the others like that, now does he?” Ben smirks at her victoriously, as if pointing that out is some kind of win. “It’s obvious, so  _ tell _ me what’s up with your brother.”

Before Vanya can speak, Klaus wanders over to their side of the room- he’s  _ finally _ noticed that Vanya and Ben are talking about  _ something _ , and Vanya sighs in relief. 

“Vanya, you didn’t tell me you were all buddy with this Ben!” Klaus singsongs, loosely throwing his arms around their shoulders. “Seems like we’re all canoodling with the enemy nowadays! I didn’t know we were all following in Five’s footsteps no-”

“They’re not the  _ enemy _ , Klaus.” Vanya cuts him off almost irritatedly, rolling her eyes. “We’re all friends here, right Ben?” 

Ben shrugs from under Klaus’ weight. 

Vanya notes that Ben isn’t really protesting much- on the touch, or on the use of the term friends.

Interesting.

* * *

Ben’s not sure how to feel about Vanya’s new… fling? Boyfriend? 

She’s quite good with boys, if Ben had to assess. As the only girl at the Sparrow Academy, dearest dad had made sure she knew how to use that to her advantage. Ben’s not really sure _ how  _ exactly that had gone- he cringes at the thought of Reggie teaching Vanya how to  _ flirt and seduce  _ people. 

He didn’t really care about his siblings’ affairs. At the most, he’d roll his eyes at the bastards who were  _ oh so _ into the whole Sparrow Academy thing. 

It was who she was flirting  _ with _ that Ben had an issue with.

Ben didn’t have issues with foreigners, he wouldn’t consider himself a racist- perhaps a time-ist? If hating teleporting little shits from another timeline who proceeded to have loud sex with his sister in the room beside his was considered discrimination, then so be it. 

Whatever was going on, Ben found it extremely annoying. 

He had a feeling that his sentiments weren’t unique. 

The other Vanya wasn’t subtle- splitting apart a tree? Dead giveaway, even without everything else; her sad little looks when Five would pair up with the Sparrow Academy’s Vanya for training, or how she seemed to always be looking for something (someone, he realizes belatedly) when she walks into a room, or how she seems to always take a seat with an empty chair beside her almost expectantly (and the disappointed look that faintly flickers on her face for a split second when Five chooses another spot).

Most recently had been her strange reaction to what Klaus had said about fraternizing with the enemy. Now that was painfully obvious of her.

Ben wondered if Vanya had figured out her own feelings yet at this point- from what he could tell, she wasn’t the most outwardly emotional. But again, she was definitely not subtle. 

On a side note, Ben hadn’t expected Klaus to be  _ observant _ . 

Ben realized that he wasn’t sure what to expect from Klaus at all, and he didn’t like it. The long-haired, airy, eccentric was hard to read. There was a little niggling in his head every time Klaus did something odd, like give him those weird looks, or touch him, or act so… bubbly towards him. He just wanted to know why. 

As Number One, Ben was supposed to be more intuitive than this. He didn’t like the feeling of unrest when there was something (or in this case  _ someone _ ) he couldn’t figure out.

  
He supposed he could have another chat with the other Vanya. Perhaps they could help each other  _ understand _ these things more. 


	2. Asking Nicely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's sleep is ruined yet again by the usual suspects. He decides to ask them to stop. Nicely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicating this chapter to the sprint buddies I had during this chapter, you guys give me life!!!

“ _ Fuck _ .”

Ben is seething. 

“Do that again,” Five’s rough moan is clear as day, despite the corridor separating Ben’s room from Vanya’s. 

Did they  _ really  _ have to be this loud? And at 3 AM? The walls weren’t thin by any means, if they could withstand the Sparrow Academy’s hijinks, then they  _ should  _ be able to block out all the… sounds. Ben was sick and tired of this shit. Vanya had her visitors on occasion, but none of them were as loud (or as kinky) as Five was.

Could they just stop it? Or at the very least, move to  _ Five _ ’s room. God damnit, they were destroying so many kinks. And sex as a whole. And his relationship with his sister. He didn’t  _ want  _ to hear Vanya groaning out various deities’ names at three in the morning. Ben couldn’t understand how Five was still so irritatingly smug in the mornings after all the shit he did to keep Ben up. 

He was so damn  _ loud _ . 

Ben groans, getting out of bed. He stomps into the hallway, and he can feel the Horror within him also getting riled up. This is one of the times they’re aligned, he supposes. He’s all for breaking down Five’s door at this point, and stabbing him with tentacles but he hears another door open in the hall.

“They’re so  _ loud _ ,” Ben groans loudly, half-hoping Five would hear him. Whoever was heading out of their room had to agree. He turns to see the Umbrella Academy’s Vanya, who was slipping out of her room with a bothered look on her face. 

“ _ That’s a good girl, V. _ ” 

The other Vanya looks pained, Ben notes.

“They do this every night,” he rants, an attempt to capture the upset girl’s attention.He runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t understand how they both have enough energy to do this and  _ still  _ fight well. And they’re so god damn kinky, I don’t know how you stand living with this guy!”

He doesn’t even realize he’s complimented Five on his fighting skills. 

What Ben does notice is the dark look that passes over Vanya’s face. 

“But hold on- why don’t  _ you  _ tell me about it?” Ben knows how to create his openings. He’s a curious little shit, he won’t lie. He wants to know what exactly is going on in Vanya’s head. 

“I- I don’t know what you mean.” Vanya’s eyes dart around, as if she’s looking for a distraction, or an escape from the question posed. 

“Come on, buttercup.” Ben tries for a friendly smile, and it seems to work as Vanya relaxes ever so slightly. “Your room isn’t right across Vanya’s- I mean, my sister’s. Why does this bother  _ you _ ?” 

“Because they do it in Five’s room too.” 

“But is that really just it though?” Ben’s pushing it, he knows. But he’s sleep-deprived, and his libido had been brutally murdered by the nightly events taking place next door. “I don’t think I believe you.” 

Vanya sighs, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Honestly? No.”

Jackpot. 

“We’re friends now, aren’t we?” Ben tries for a friendly grin. At this point, he’ll do anything to put a stop to his sister’s sex life with Five. Or at the very least, get them to consider a change in venue. He also finds that he likes this version of Vanya- it’s comforting that there’s  _ someone  _ in the Umbrella Academy that he can read. She’s not that bad either. 

He receives a cautious nod in response. 

“Here’s the plan,  _ friend _ .” Ben’s got a grin on his face now, a real, amused grin. “You have to admit that it’s weird that our siblings are having loud intercourse,” he uses the term siblings to lull her into a false sense of comfort. Ben supposes that she’ll be more open with him if it seems like he has no idea of whatever tension there is between her and Five.

Ben needs her to be open to him- the plan he’s got in mind sounds utterly insane. She’ll probably go along with it if he pushes her  _ just  _ the right amount. He also thinks that if his suspicions are right (which they usually are), that this could be a win-win situation for both of them.

“What are you thinking?” 

He meets Vanya’s gaze with his own. “What do you say we give them a taste of their own medicine?”

“Uh, couldn’t we just ask them to be more quiet though?”

* * *

Ben finds that asking nicely doesn’t work. 

Five flips the middle finger at Ben, and the Sparrow Academy Vanya just rolls her eyes.

* * *

“Looks like we’re doing this,” Vanya says neutrally, accepting defeat for her “ask nicely” suggestion. “It’ll have to be real though, Five has teleporting abilities and no sense of social skills or shame whatsoever.” 

“Do you think he’d intentionally walk in on us?” Ben cringes. “I want to throw up just  _ hearing  _ them have-” 

“Yes,” she cuts him off before he can continue that thought. “He would. You know he would.”

Ben pauses to think about this. 

“I don’t mind though,” Vanya says carefully, meeting his eyes. Her eyes are so  _ brown _ , Ben notes. Her gaze is steady. She’s serious about this then. “If it gives them a taste of their own medicine, right?”

She’s totally on board with this.

“We’ll have to make it believable.”

“And how do you propose we do that?” Ben’s curious as to what she has in mind. She’s as invested as he is, though not for the same reasons (sleep. Ben wanted sleep). 

“Practice does make perfect after all.”

Vanya’s words stop Ben in his tracks. It’s not as if he doesn’t have experience with sex, or that he’s a prude. But it is in this moment in which he realizes that perhaps this girl and his sister aren’t so different after all.


	3. Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Vanya practice, and then some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter has explicit content- you've been warned.

Vanya’s on his lap, grinding down on him, and honestly Ben’s quite good at this. He’s kissing her neck, and his hands are on her hips. 

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Vanya sighs, grasping Ben’s hair, pulling his head down to her chest, and she moans when she feels the warmth of his tongue licking her skin.

Ben groans in response. 

It’s a delicious sound, but Vanya can’t help but feel like it sounds slightly wrong. That’s exactly why they’re doing this though, she rationalizes- practice. She’d rather get used to his sounds rather than those in the room next to hers. 

* * *

Ben slides himself in between Vanya’s legs, gently easing her thighs apart with his hands. His palms are warm against her skin, his lips brushing against her inner thigh, leaving tingles in his wake.

Vanya’s sure that _practice_ isn’t supposed to feel so good, but at this point she doesn’t really care. 

“Stop teasing, you asshole.” Her voice is breathier than she intended, but she’s glaring at him, the look in her eyes a bit more intense because of the sheer _need_. She wants him to just do something about how wet he’s making her. 

“As you wish.” Ben’s head dips down to where her legs meet, his tongue licking along her slit lightly and Vanya moans loudly, her legs tensing. 

“You alright?” he looks up at her. His face is one of concern, but Vanya doesn’t miss the mischievous look in his eyes. 

Vanya chooses not to honor him with a response, instead grabbing a fistful of Ben’s hair and guiding him back to where he should be.

He chuckles.

Then Ben’s tongue starts drawing patterns on her clit, his eyes closed in focus. His hands are on her ass, and he’s using them to pull her closer to him. 

Vanya loves the wet sounds his tongue makes on her skin, the warm trails his ministrations create on her most intimate parts, the moans he lets out, as if tasting _her_ brings him as much pleasure as it does her. 

Her thighs lock around his head, 

She can see his hair, her fingers laced in dark dark strands, _oh so similar_ to someone else. Her legs shake at the image, though she isn’t clear what exactly it is of. 

While she’s distracted, two fingers slide in her _so_ easily. They’re firm, and warm, and Vanya feels so full and she can’t help but thrust her hips in the pursuit of more contact. His fingers were ever so slightly brushing the spot that would make her cave. 

There’s a pause when he realizes that Vanya’s wanting more. Then a small, smug laugh as he curls his fingers in just the right way, and grinds his tongue on her clit at the same time, and _fuck_. 

The sound of cracking windows and probably an exploding lightbulb in the hallway doesn’t deter the heat, or the pressure pooling in her stomach. 

* * *

“Oh god, _Five_ ,” the words are out of Vanya’s mouth in a breathy sigh as she clenches on the fingers in her, her body shaking in sweet, sweet release.

She starts to slip into a post-orgasmic haze, but then her brain catches up with her mouth. Her lips curve into an ‘o’ of horror. 

_Shit_. 

Vanya can’t bring herself to look at Ben. Her cheeks are flaming with embarrassment, and her eyes are wide with fear. She’d offended him, hadn’t she? She’s actually surprised that he hasn’t shoved her off him at this point. 

It wasn’t like she didn’t know where that had come from. 

But while she was messing around with someone else wasn’t really the best timing. 

When Vanya musters the courage to look at Ben in the eye, he’s still in between her legs. He’s propped up on his elbows, and Vanya’s not sure if she should be scared. Because Ben is smiling. Like, actually smiling. It’s the most sincere smile that she’s seen on his face in ages. The last time she’s seen a smile like that on him would be on _her_ Ben ~~though that was weird to think about now, with her juices still glistening on his lips~~. 

“I’m going to ask this question again- you _can’t_ get out of it now.”

Vanya turns beet red. She groans, rolling off Ben’s and turning away from him, hiding her face in her hands. “I-”

“What is up with your brother?” he continues, cocking his head slightly. He’s still resting between her thighs and it is almost as if she hadn’t just cum on his face while moaning out another person’s name. It’s almost cute, Vanya muses- or it would be if this entire situation wasn’t so embarrassing. Or _dirty_. 

“Or I could hedge a guess,” Ben continues on, acting like Vanya wasn’t dying of embarrassment in front of him. He sits up, shifting so that he’s beside her. “He’s not that bad-looking, buttercup.” 

His hands rub Vanya’s soothingly, though the mood is definitely less intimate- this feels almost familial. As familial as it can be after cunnilingus, Vanya supposes. “And you definitely seem to be his type.”

“Not enough,” Vanya finally admits. “He doesn’t seem to feel that way.” 

“Really now?” Ben’s not surprised to hear that this is Vanya’s take. He also admittedly isn’t sure about Five’s sentiments either, he seems to be _enjoying_ himself with this world’s Vanya. These Umbrella Academy folks really aren’t the easiest to read, he admits to himself annoyedly. That’s what makes this arrangement interesting. “We’re just lucky he’s probably not yet back from the bar, Vanya. Would’ve ruined the whole plan.”

Ben is proud of himself for getting her to open up. He even feels fondness for this other Vanya, who is definitely not his sister, but a charming creature on her own merits. 

Silence. 

* * *

“He could’ve,” Vanya’s surprised at her own candor tonight. She’s aware of the softness in her tone as she talks about Five. A sardonic smile makes its way on her face. “Back when we were kids, we were closer. It was almost something.”

She doesn’t feel like going into details of the past with this Ben. Or at all. Vanya hates admitting these feelings. She despised the thought of the other Vanya getting under her skin (or under Five- might as well own up to it now). 

“Almost?” 

Vanya didn’t want to talk about that much- the memories stung quite a bit. She tries to make it as short and simple as possible. “Five was gone for a long time. When he came back, there wasn’t really any time to get into things.”

“What about now?” Ben asks, and a cringe passes over his face. He seems to realize exactly what’s wrong with that question before Vanya can point it out. 

She decides to reply anyway. “There wasn’t a thing to get back into.” At this point, it was really over before it had even started. “Sometimes I’m not sure if there ever was anything at all.” 

* * *

Ben finds this version of Vanya agreeable, or even maybe somewhere above agreeable. He just isn't sure if he agrees with her on this.

* * *

As Vanya exits Ben's room to get some sleep, she _almost_ spots a flash of blue light. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This really isn't a Benya fic (while I can get behind Benya, this isn't the fic for it), oddly enough this chapter is a tribute to my broTP... This is the weirdest broTP tribute ever 
> 
> Also this is my first time publishing any explicit content and I'm kinda nervous but it's about damn time

**Author's Note:**

> Wew okay, so this is going to be my first multi-chapter fic in ages. 
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


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